1 00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:10,845 No, no, fucker, no! 2 00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:12,304 Fuck no! 3 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,887 I am not telling you 4 00:00:13,887 --> 00:00:16,678 what happened last season on "Shameless"! 5 00:00:16,678 --> 00:00:18,220 Yeah! 6 00:00:18,220 --> 00:00:20,720 Yeah--no! 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,304 Not without me, Frank, you motherfucker! 8 00:00:24,304 --> 00:00:26,053 Put me down. Put me down. 9 00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:26,845 No more! Ah! 10 00:00:26,845 --> 00:00:28,137 Ooh. 11 00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:29,053 How long did the doctor say 12 00:00:29,053 --> 00:00:30,137 you were gonna be like this? 13 00:00:30,137 --> 00:00:31,803 Three to six months. 14 00:00:31,803 --> 00:00:32,970 I think I might be gay. 15 00:00:32,970 --> 00:00:33,928 Where is this coming from? 16 00:00:33,928 --> 00:00:35,345 Is this because you're a welder now? 17 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:37,220 No, I've just been feeling ways 18 00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:38,720 that I've never felt before. 19 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,053 Is Liam back from church yet? 20 00:00:40,053 --> 00:00:41,511 - Yeah. - Where is he? 21 00:00:41,511 --> 00:00:42,970 - In his room. - His room? 22 00:00:42,970 --> 00:00:44,511 Yeah, I've noticed that you're black. 23 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:45,553 Your point? 24 00:00:45,553 --> 00:00:47,429 That you have never made any attempt 25 00:00:47,429 --> 00:00:49,761 to surround me with my own cultural and racial heritage. 26 00:00:49,761 --> 00:00:52,179 - What's this? - My list of demands. 27 00:00:52,179 --> 00:00:54,387 Once agreed upon, I'll consider coming home. 28 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:55,595 I didn't make it past 29 00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:56,803 the first round of cuts for West Point. 30 00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:58,095 You're going back to school. 31 00:00:58,095 --> 00:00:59,511 No, I'm not. 32 00:00:59,511 --> 00:01:01,595 Yes, you are, Carl. 33 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,761 I'm a loser, Debbie. 34 00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:05,137 So are you done being a pussy 35 00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:07,595 and ready to get back to being the man that I love? 36 00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:09,429 Oh, shit. 37 00:01:09,429 --> 00:01:11,803 You guys invited Jabby? 38 00:01:11,803 --> 00:01:13,137 I was hoping you'd be here. 39 00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:16,262 I've having a lot of really great sex recently. 40 00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:17,636 Let's go bang one out, 41 00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:19,220 get my average back in the shitter where it belongs. 42 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,345 Yeah, you know, I could use 43 00:01:20,345 --> 00:01:22,137 some fresh puke on my shoes, so that'd be good. 44 00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:23,262 I'm pregnant. 45 00:01:23,262 --> 00:01:24,262 You sure it's mine? 46 00:01:24,262 --> 00:01:25,970 Yeah, I'm sure it's yours. 47 00:01:25,970 --> 00:01:27,595 If you decide to have this baby, 48 00:01:27,595 --> 00:01:30,387 I wanna make damn sure it has a father. 49 00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:32,262 Anybody order a hot piece of ass? 50 00:01:33,595 --> 00:01:35,553 Feast your eyes, boys. 51 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,304 You can look, but you can't touch. 52 00:01:37,304 --> 00:01:38,803 Is that Jesus? 53 00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:42,678 And I'm thinking maybe it's time for me to go. 54 00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:43,970 You should go. 55 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:44,928 What? 56 00:01:44,928 --> 00:01:46,511 You should get the fuck out. 57 00:01:46,511 --> 00:01:47,678 You deserve it. 58 00:01:47,678 --> 00:01:49,803 You should go as far away as you can. 59 00:01:49,803 --> 00:01:51,803 A check for $50,000. 60 00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:54,220 "Love you." 61 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,137 Yeah, she does. 62 00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:59,761 ♪ upbeat music ♪ 63 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:09,511 ♪ rock music ♪ 64 00:02:13,553 --> 00:02:16,511 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 65 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:19,845 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 66 00:02:19,845 --> 00:02:22,970 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 67 00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:27,345 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 68 00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:30,720 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 69 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,179 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 70 00:02:34,179 --> 00:02:36,304 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 71 00:02:36,304 --> 00:02:41,012 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 72 00:02:47,678 --> 00:02:51,012 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 73 00:02:51,012 --> 00:02:54,095 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 74 00:02:54,095 --> 00:02:57,470 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 75 00:02:57,470 --> 00:03:01,761 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 76 00:03:01,761 --> 00:03:05,220 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 77 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:08,595 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 78 00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:10,470 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 79 00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:14,553 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 80 00:03:46,553 --> 00:03:49,387 ♪ upbeat rock music ♪ 81 00:03:50,803 --> 00:03:52,511 Oh, yeah. 82 00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:54,470 Oh, yeah, baby. 83 00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:57,095 I'm so wet. 84 00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:58,720 I'm so very, very wet. 85 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,928 Um... 86 00:04:00,928 --> 00:04:03,970 - One sec. One sec. - What? 87 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:04,845 Okay. 88 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,262 Yeah. 89 00:04:07,262 --> 00:04:09,678 Yeah. 90 00:04:09,678 --> 00:04:11,304 It slipped out again. I slipped. 91 00:04:11,304 --> 00:04:12,262 Okay, hang on. Let me get on top. 92 00:04:12,262 --> 00:04:14,595 All right. 93 00:04:15,595 --> 00:04:16,429 Careful, careful. 94 00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:18,262 Yeah. 95 00:04:18,262 --> 00:04:20,429 Whew, okay. 96 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,511 Oh, yeah. 97 00:04:25,511 --> 00:04:27,470 Yeah, no, whoa, whoa, I just felt the baby kick. 98 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,678 Oh, focus. 99 00:04:29,678 --> 00:04:31,220 Baby likes it. 100 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:34,636 Yeah. 101 00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:44,262 Really? 102 00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:51,511 Yeah, yeah, oh! 103 00:04:51,511 --> 00:04:54,470 Is it really that hard to put your clothes down the chute? 104 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:57,511 Come on! 105 00:04:57,511 --> 00:04:59,636 Baby wants you to smack that ass. 106 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,803 No, Liam, I have to pee! 107 00:05:04,803 --> 00:05:09,012 - Oh, yes, yes! - Oh. 108 00:05:09,012 --> 00:05:10,012 Sorry, Sister Debbie. 109 00:05:10,012 --> 00:05:12,304 Five after seven is my bathroom time, 110 00:05:12,304 --> 00:05:13,345 per the deal with me 111 00:05:13,345 --> 00:05:15,220 for me to come live in this cracker barrel. 112 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,928 I'm not your maid, people! 113 00:05:59,304 --> 00:06:01,553 Ooh. 114 00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,345 Ugh. 115 00:06:07,345 --> 00:06:10,095 Get your head out of the sink, Frank. 116 00:06:10,095 --> 00:06:11,137 Where's your pants? 117 00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:42,928 Has anyone seen my gas mask? 118 00:06:42,928 --> 00:06:44,262 And my work boots? 119 00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:45,970 Anything left in the upstairs hallway 120 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,803 can now be found in the backyard! 121 00:06:48,803 --> 00:06:51,429 What? Why? 122 00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:53,429 'Cause the hallway is a public space, 123 00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:56,220 and all public spaces need to be kept clear of clutter 124 00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:59,095 to allow for safe egress in the event of fire. 125 00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:00,095 All right. 126 00:07:01,429 --> 00:07:03,387 Can you get out of the kitchen, Frank? 127 00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:04,553 Hey, shoo. 128 00:07:06,429 --> 00:07:07,678 No pants, Frank. 129 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:09,345 Hey, good morning, Debbie. 130 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,262 Mwah. 131 00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:11,429 Hi. 132 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,304 Who are you supposed to be today? 133 00:07:14,304 --> 00:07:16,095 Frederick Douglass. 134 00:07:16,095 --> 00:07:18,179 Liam, sausage and eggs. 135 00:07:18,179 --> 00:07:19,595 Grab a plate. 136 00:07:19,595 --> 00:07:21,803 I don't eat the white man's swine. 137 00:07:21,803 --> 00:07:23,429 - Huh? - Pork. 138 00:07:23,429 --> 00:07:24,845 I like swine. 139 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,720 Hey! 140 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,137 Ouch. 141 00:07:27,137 --> 00:07:28,803 Only kids under 12 eat for free. 142 00:07:28,803 --> 00:07:29,845 Everybody else pays. 143 00:07:30,636 --> 00:07:32,012 Farhad's letting me 144 00:07:32,012 --> 00:07:33,470 borrow his car on Saturday to go visit Ian. 145 00:07:33,470 --> 00:07:34,803 Oh, yeah? 146 00:07:34,803 --> 00:07:35,970 Yeah, if any of you guys want to tag along, 147 00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:38,636 Franny and I are gonna leave at 8 a.m. sharp. 148 00:07:38,636 --> 00:07:39,678 Yeah, we're in. 149 00:07:39,678 --> 00:07:40,470 Me too. 150 00:07:40,470 --> 00:07:42,053 Cool. Frank? 151 00:07:42,053 --> 00:07:42,970 What? 152 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:44,636 Down to visit Ian? 153 00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:46,053 No one ran a load? 154 00:07:46,053 --> 00:07:47,803 Okay, listen up, people. 155 00:07:47,803 --> 00:07:50,012 For the last time, I'm not Fiona. 156 00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,137 I've got my own kid to raise. 157 00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,928 If you wanna do your laundry, do it yourself. 158 00:07:53,928 --> 00:07:55,511 It's right there. 159 00:07:55,511 --> 00:07:57,636 You don't want breakfast, Liam? Fine. 160 00:07:57,636 --> 00:07:58,803 I gotta get to work. 161 00:07:58,803 --> 00:07:59,720 All right, you good? 162 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,845 - Yeah. - Yeah? 163 00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:01,678 Bye. 164 00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:07,928 I love you so much. 165 00:08:08,678 --> 00:08:09,803 I miss you already. 166 00:08:09,803 --> 00:08:11,678 All right. 167 00:08:11,678 --> 00:08:12,720 - I'll see you. - Yeah. 168 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,845 Bye, family. 169 00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,429 Bye. 170 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,137 She have a serious head injury or something recently? 171 00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:24,678 Ah, it's just the baby hormones making her nice. 172 00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:25,845 - School? - Yep. 173 00:08:25,845 --> 00:08:27,678 all right, let's go 174 00:08:27,678 --> 00:08:29,345 ♪ percussive rock music ♪ 175 00:08:29,345 --> 00:08:30,511 Bye, Debs. Look, Franny. 176 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,803 bye 177 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,553 ♪ Hey! ♪ 178 00:08:34,553 --> 00:08:35,970 ♪ Hey! ♪ 179 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,095 Gallagher, get your ass up! 180 00:09:16,095 --> 00:09:19,137 ♪ That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that ♪ 181 00:09:19,137 --> 00:09:21,636 ♪ That, that, that, that, that ♪ 182 00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:23,553 How long have I been here? 183 00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:27,511 ♪ That, that, that, that, that, that ♪ 184 00:09:27,511 --> 00:09:28,387 ♪ I'll take it ♪ 185 00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:29,553 ♪ That, that, that, that... ♪ 186 00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:30,429 Clean yourself up. 187 00:09:30,429 --> 00:09:31,761 You're graduating 188 00:09:31,761 --> 00:09:33,345 so we can kick you the hell out. 189 00:09:33,345 --> 00:09:34,761 ♪ And when you're in my sights ♪ 190 00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:40,761 ♪ I'll take it ♪ 191 00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:43,429 ♪ Down like dynamite ♪ 192 00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:45,429 ♪ Turn it up ♪ 193 00:09:45,429 --> 00:09:46,928 ♪ Fahrenheit ♪ 194 00:09:46,928 --> 00:09:49,845 ♪ Time for you to say good-bye ♪ 195 00:09:49,845 --> 00:09:52,595 ♪ I'ma take you down like dynamite ♪ 196 00:09:57,262 --> 00:09:59,845 ♪ I'ma take you down like dynamite ♪ 197 00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:06,137 ♪ Dynamite ♪ 198 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,553 Attention! 199 00:10:09,553 --> 00:10:11,595 Forward! 200 00:10:11,595 --> 00:10:13,345 One, two! 201 00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:16,304 Left, left, right, left. 202 00:10:16,304 --> 00:10:19,595 Left, left, left, right, left. 203 00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,678 Your dashiki came! 204 00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:30,345 Yeah, yesterday. 205 00:10:30,345 --> 00:10:31,304 Very handsome. 206 00:10:31,304 --> 00:10:32,803 Frederick Douglass breakfast? 207 00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,429 Slave or freedom breakfast? 208 00:10:34,429 --> 00:10:38,012 Slave breakfast from my new "Slave Quarters Cookbook," 209 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:38,970 grits and okra. 210 00:10:38,970 --> 00:10:40,429 Slaves ate okra? 211 00:10:40,429 --> 00:10:43,137 That's what the book says: okra, weeds, roots, 212 00:10:43,137 --> 00:10:46,095 whatever we could grow or dig up behind slave quarters. 213 00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:48,845 Master only gave us a cup of cornmeal a day to live on. 214 00:10:49,845 --> 00:10:51,095 Want some blackstrap molasses? 215 00:10:51,095 --> 00:10:52,304 Sure. 216 00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,053 What do you think of Chukwuemeka? 217 00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:58,012 I wanna ditch my slave name. 218 00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:01,345 It means "God has done something great" in Igbo. 219 00:11:01,345 --> 00:11:03,887 I like it. 220 00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:06,845 God definitely did something great day you were born. 221 00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:09,761 Mornin'. 222 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:11,511 Mornin'. 223 00:11:12,678 --> 00:11:13,803 Good morning, girls. 224 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,220 - Hi. - Hi, Daddy. 225 00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:17,387 Don King, right? 226 00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:19,470 No, Frederick Douglass. 227 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:20,387 Who? 228 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,095 Author, orator, escaped slave. 229 00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:24,220 Oh, you two studying him in your "being black" class? 230 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:26,636 Yep, we are up to the Civil War. 231 00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:28,387 Reconstruction is next. 232 00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,636 Have to cover the Emancipation Proclamation 233 00:11:30,636 --> 00:11:32,511 and the defeat of the slave-owning traitor 234 00:11:32,511 --> 00:11:34,179 Robert E. Lee at the hands of black soldiers 235 00:11:34,179 --> 00:11:37,095 who fought and died to save America for the white man. 236 00:11:37,095 --> 00:11:38,262 I always thought Robert E. Lee 237 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:39,720 was some sort of great general. 238 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,095 Racist shithead. 239 00:11:41,095 --> 00:11:42,220 But don't he have statues? 240 00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:44,887 Statues all gotta come down. 241 00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:45,887 What the hell is that? 242 00:11:45,887 --> 00:11:47,095 Chitlins. 243 00:11:47,095 --> 00:11:48,553 - Chitlins? - Pig intestines. 244 00:11:48,553 --> 00:11:49,887 Really? 245 00:11:49,887 --> 00:11:51,720 We gotta eat what our ancestors ate 246 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,137 if we're gonna understand what they sacrificed for us. 247 00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:56,012 All right, baby, I'm going to the park to shoot some hoops. 248 00:11:56,012 --> 00:11:57,262 I'll see you later at the Alibi. 249 00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:59,636 Bye, girls. See you later, Fred. 250 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,137 ♪ funky upbeat music ♪ 251 00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:04,262 Why can't I get 252 00:12:04,262 --> 00:12:06,928 a couple of hundred bucks of my Fiona money now? 253 00:12:06,928 --> 00:12:09,095 Fiona didn't leave you any money, Frank. 254 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,928 She left money for the family, 255 00:12:10,928 --> 00:12:12,095 and she left it under my control 256 00:12:12,095 --> 00:12:13,387 because she knows I'm the only Gallagher 257 00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:16,636 that wouldn't waste it on frivolous, stupid things. 258 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:20,053 I've divided Fiona's $50,000 into three categories: 259 00:12:20,053 --> 00:12:23,179 30,000 for essentials, 20,000 for savings. 260 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:24,887 Savings? 261 00:12:24,887 --> 00:12:26,511 What the hell for? 262 00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:28,470 We need a rainy day fund, Frank. 263 00:12:28,470 --> 00:12:30,429 Anytime you're around, it's pouring. 264 00:12:30,429 --> 00:12:32,928 After I take care of all of the essentials, 265 00:12:32,928 --> 00:12:36,220 whatever's left goes into the discretionary fund 266 00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:38,095 with money divided equally for each of us, 267 00:12:38,095 --> 00:12:40,137 you included, unfortunately. 268 00:12:40,137 --> 00:12:41,761 Doctors? 269 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,304 Yep, and dentists. 270 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,636 What's wrong with the ER? 271 00:12:44,636 --> 00:12:45,511 It's free. 272 00:12:45,511 --> 00:12:47,761 The ER is not free, Frank. 273 00:12:47,761 --> 00:12:49,761 You just don't pay your bills. 274 00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:53,678 Garbage disposal, home repairs. 275 00:12:53,678 --> 00:12:55,511 Taxes? 276 00:12:55,511 --> 00:12:57,720 What's this 600 bucks you've already taken 277 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,137 out of my nonexistent discretionary money? 278 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,429 600 bucks, new couch. 279 00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:06,137 There's nothing wrong with our couch. 280 00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:07,970 You spent the last six months 281 00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:11,137 dribbling your broken leg juices and piss all over it. 282 00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,970 It's perfectly fine. 283 00:13:14,678 --> 00:13:16,053 It's just-- 284 00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:18,553 the cushions need plumping, that's all. 285 00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:23,137 Yeah, we're getting a new couch, 286 00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,429 and it's coming out of your share. 287 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,179 Oh, no, it is not. 288 00:13:27,179 --> 00:13:28,387 Yeah, it is. 289 00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:30,470 All right, I gotta go to work now, 290 00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,761 you know, that thing people do to make money 291 00:13:32,761 --> 00:13:34,595 to support their children. 292 00:13:34,595 --> 00:13:35,845 You might want to wash those clothes. 293 00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,095 You smell like 294 00:13:37,095 --> 00:13:39,345 a sushi restaurant dumpster on a hot day. 295 00:13:39,345 --> 00:13:40,595 ♪ spacey electronic music ♪ 296 00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:41,845 ♪ Turn the beat up ♪ 297 00:13:41,845 --> 00:13:42,720 ♪ The homie hit me up ♪ 298 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,345 ♪ To tear the beat up ♪ 299 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,429 ♪ Weak MCs, I see 'em like beef ♪ 300 00:13:46,429 --> 00:13:47,928 ♪ I'ma show my tail ♪ 301 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,137 ♪ Then shred 'em on they own beat ♪ 302 00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:50,511 Right here, here. Here, here. 303 00:13:50,511 --> 00:13:52,012 ♪ Like everybody owes me ♪ 304 00:13:52,012 --> 00:13:53,012 ♪ Doin' my dance ♪ 305 00:13:53,012 --> 00:13:54,720 ♪ Got all the girlies on me ♪ 306 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,179 ♪ I'ma keep it solid while exposing all you phonies ♪ 307 00:13:57,179 --> 00:13:58,345 ♪ Bet you can't keep me down ♪ 308 00:13:58,345 --> 00:13:59,511 Oh! 309 00:13:59,511 --> 00:14:01,012 ♪ Bet you don't believe me now ♪ 310 00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:03,345 ♪ Stand up, stand up, fight the fight ♪ 311 00:14:03,345 --> 00:14:05,887 ♪ Stand up, stand up, knock out lights ♪ 312 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,137 ♪ Stand up, stand up ♪ 313 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,137 Don't give it to him. 314 00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:09,387 I'm open. Pass me the ball. 315 00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:11,553 Here, here, here, here, here. 316 00:14:11,553 --> 00:14:13,511 ♪ Stand up, stand up, fight the fight ♪ 317 00:14:13,511 --> 00:14:14,887 ♪ Stand up, stand up ♪ 318 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,262 I got it. I got it. 319 00:14:16,262 --> 00:14:17,887 ♪ Stand up, stand up ♪ 320 00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:19,761 - Awesome, Pete. - Thanks, man. 321 00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:21,345 ♪ Stand up, stand up, and I don't back down ♪ 322 00:14:21,345 --> 00:14:23,970 ♪ Stand up, stand up, and you're goin' down ♪ 323 00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,179 Give me the ball, man. Give me the ball. 324 00:14:25,179 --> 00:14:26,803 Give me the ball! 325 00:14:26,803 --> 00:14:28,179 Come on, man. 326 00:14:28,179 --> 00:14:29,678 ♪ Get it how I live ♪ 327 00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:31,803 ♪ Take a shot of , get they dreams of getting rich ♪ 328 00:14:31,803 --> 00:14:33,928 ♪ Your boy come equipped with the genie, keep it lit ♪ 329 00:14:33,928 --> 00:14:36,220 Give me the damn ball, man. 330 00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,262 Give me the rock. I'm open. 331 00:14:38,262 --> 00:14:39,720 ♪ Switch up the hits ♪ 332 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,304 ♪ Got the haters bitter like unripe figs ♪ 333 00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:43,429 ♪ Never hold my tongue, I'ma tell you how it is ♪ 334 00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:45,053 Yo, yo, yo, yo, look up! Look up! 335 00:14:45,053 --> 00:14:46,220 Pass it! 336 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:49,053 Right here, here, here, here. 337 00:14:49,053 --> 00:14:50,761 ♪ Like unripe figs ♪ 338 00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:52,803 ♪ Like unripe figs ♪ 339 00:15:02,928 --> 00:15:04,511 Oh, man. 340 00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:11,429 Morning, Gloria. 341 00:15:11,429 --> 00:15:14,387 Anything governmental check-like in there? 342 00:15:14,387 --> 00:15:16,304 Government hasn't figured out you're scamming 343 00:15:16,304 --> 00:15:19,179 our hard-earned taxpayer dollars yet, Frank? 344 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,845 I am a loyal citizen of this great republic, 345 00:15:21,845 --> 00:15:25,262 currently unemployed due to endemic ageism 346 00:15:25,262 --> 00:15:26,761 and disruptive technologies 347 00:15:26,761 --> 00:15:30,928 reordering everything in our new gig economy. 348 00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:33,511 Fiona, Fiona. 349 00:15:33,511 --> 00:15:36,220 Fiona, Fiona, Fiona. Fiona. 350 00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:38,928 You should thank me for continuing to pay 351 00:15:38,928 --> 00:15:41,845 your inflated civil service wages 352 00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:45,845 while the Silicon Valley eggheads program the drones 353 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:49,137 that will make your antiquated job obsolete. 354 00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:52,137 ♪ upbeat funky music ♪ 355 00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:18,511 Here we go. 356 00:16:30,761 --> 00:16:33,012 Don't look at me like that. 357 00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:35,012 I've got a system. 358 00:16:35,012 --> 00:16:36,803 It's all going back. 359 00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:38,012 Nordstrom's is blue, 360 00:16:38,012 --> 00:16:39,678 Marshalls is pink, 361 00:16:39,678 --> 00:16:41,511 Bloomie's is purple, 362 00:16:41,511 --> 00:16:43,345 Chanel is orange, Gucci's black, 363 00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:46,095 and Prada is yellow. 364 00:16:46,095 --> 00:16:48,304 I deserve to feel special. 365 00:16:48,304 --> 00:16:51,678 What should I wear under my Carhartts today, 366 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,803 La Perla or Victoria's Secret? 367 00:16:55,803 --> 00:16:58,262 Victoria's Secret. 368 00:16:58,262 --> 00:17:00,137 Victoria's Secret it is. 369 00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:02,970 ♪ upbeat percussive music ♪ 370 00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:20,887 Who you supposed to be today? 371 00:17:20,887 --> 00:17:21,970 Frederick Douglass. 372 00:17:21,970 --> 00:17:23,595 In a dashiki? 373 00:17:23,595 --> 00:17:25,304 Douglass was from Senegambia. 374 00:17:25,304 --> 00:17:26,720 Dude, it's not a real place. 375 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:27,887 You gotta chill out with that shit. 376 00:17:27,887 --> 00:17:29,553 You look like "Coming to America." 377 00:17:30,553 --> 00:17:32,220 Most people aren't as ignorant as you. 378 00:17:32,220 --> 00:17:34,053 They'll appreciate this. 379 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,636 We going or not? 380 00:17:38,928 --> 00:17:40,470 Okay. 381 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,262 I'm not walking next to you dressed like that. 382 00:17:49,345 --> 00:17:51,595 She wants to have sex all the time. 383 00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:52,970 All right, three times last night 384 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:54,345 and again this morning. 385 00:17:54,345 --> 00:17:56,928 No hemorrhoids or problems with the mucus plug? 386 00:17:56,928 --> 00:17:58,636 What's a mucus plug? 387 00:17:58,636 --> 00:18:00,345 You'd know if you'd had a problem with it. 388 00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,262 You know, I never thought I'd be complaining 389 00:18:01,262 --> 00:18:03,262 about having this much sex. 390 00:18:03,262 --> 00:18:04,511 Enjoy it while you can. 391 00:18:04,511 --> 00:18:06,095 Cami didn't want me to touch her for months 392 00:18:06,095 --> 00:18:07,304 after Miles was born. 393 00:18:07,304 --> 00:18:08,511 Oh, that's the thing, 394 00:18:08,511 --> 00:18:09,553 she's so fucking nice to me all the time. 395 00:18:09,553 --> 00:18:11,470 You know, it's all honey, sweetie. 396 00:18:11,470 --> 00:18:13,636 She called me boo this morning. 397 00:18:13,636 --> 00:18:15,304 I mean, it's "alien abduction movie" creepy. 398 00:18:15,304 --> 00:18:16,429 I don't like it. 399 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,595 It won't last. 400 00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:20,304 Once the baby's born, with the sleep deprivation, 401 00:18:20,304 --> 00:18:24,137 the postpartum craziness, and Tami being kind of a bitch, 402 00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,429 it's gonna be a rough ride, my friend. 403 00:18:26,429 --> 00:18:27,345 Is that valves? 404 00:18:27,345 --> 00:18:29,304 Hmm, and rings. 405 00:18:30,553 --> 00:18:32,636 Cami's making a list of stuff she thinks 406 00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:34,304 you still need to buy before your baby gets here. 407 00:18:34,304 --> 00:18:35,636 Oh, come on, man. Really? 408 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:38,387 Wha--what about all the shit we got at the baby shower? 409 00:18:38,387 --> 00:18:39,595 The expensive stuff nobody around here 410 00:18:39,595 --> 00:18:42,387 can afford to give at a shower. 411 00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:45,179 It's a fancy breast pump, 412 00:18:45,179 --> 00:18:46,970 baby video monitor that connects to your phone, 413 00:18:46,970 --> 00:18:50,678 some Scandinavian car seat-stroller combo thing. 414 00:18:50,678 --> 00:18:52,511 I grew up around a ton of kids. 415 00:18:52,511 --> 00:18:54,387 I never had any of that shit. 416 00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:56,803 You know, Frank wouldn't even buy us diapers half the time. 417 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,803 He'd tape garbage bags around us, 418 00:18:58,803 --> 00:19:01,636 hose us off in the backyard before bedtime. 419 00:19:01,636 --> 00:19:04,137 Really? 420 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,845 No, but close. 421 00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:09,845 It's on a different floor. 422 00:19:09,845 --> 00:19:11,845 One moment, please. I'll transfer you. 423 00:19:20,387 --> 00:19:21,595 How you feeling, Frank? 424 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,511 Still in a lot of pain, Doc. 425 00:19:23,511 --> 00:19:26,012 Really, after all this time? 426 00:19:26,012 --> 00:19:27,137 I can barely sleep. 427 00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:29,137 The pain is excruciating. 428 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:32,761 Oxycontin is the only thing making life bearable. 429 00:19:32,761 --> 00:19:35,636 Hmm, well, let's take a look. 430 00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:39,345 Doc, please, careful. 431 00:19:40,511 --> 00:19:42,720 I haven't touched you yet, Frank. 432 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,761 I think that kid surgeon, uh, 433 00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:48,970 musta severed some nerves or something. 434 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,553 How long's it been now, six months? 435 00:19:50,553 --> 00:19:54,553 Five. Five months of agony. 436 00:19:54,553 --> 00:19:56,887 Well, congratulations. 437 00:19:56,887 --> 00:19:58,220 You're healed. 438 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,345 You might experience some minor discomfort, 439 00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:03,720 but you can take care of that with some Advil. 440 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,553 Advil? 441 00:20:05,553 --> 00:20:07,803 Yeah, or anything over the counter will do. 442 00:20:07,803 --> 00:20:09,720 You're cutting me off? 443 00:20:12,553 --> 00:20:15,387 Gotta err on the side of caution. 444 00:20:15,387 --> 00:20:17,761 Oxycontin is highly addictive. 445 00:20:17,761 --> 00:20:20,179 We wouldn't want you to become drug dependent. 446 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:23,761 Shouldn't you be titrating me down slowly 447 00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:26,470 like a half a dose for a year or two, 448 00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:28,053 - Maybe, um-- - Nope. 449 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,761 - Vicodin. - No. 450 00:20:32,761 --> 00:20:34,595 - Codeine. - Not a chance. 451 00:20:35,803 --> 00:20:36,928 So that's it. 452 00:20:36,928 --> 00:20:38,761 You're just gonna let me suffer in silence. 453 00:20:38,761 --> 00:20:41,429 Oh, I don't think you're gonna be silent, Frank. 454 00:20:41,429 --> 00:20:42,720 You know, you may want to try 455 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,678 to slip out the back on your way out. 456 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,595 The billing department put out a most-wanted deadbeats poster, 457 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,928 and your picture is on it. 458 00:20:50,928 --> 00:20:52,179 When the doctors in this dump 459 00:20:52,179 --> 00:20:54,137 start caring about their patients in pain, 460 00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:56,595 maybe some of us'll start paying our bills! 461 00:20:56,595 --> 00:20:58,179 ♪ upbeat dance music ♪ 462 00:20:58,179 --> 00:21:00,262 Well, shit. 463 00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:11,803 Hey, yo, African booty scratcher! 464 00:21:12,678 --> 00:21:14,345 Yo, dashiki boy! 465 00:21:14,345 --> 00:21:16,387 Yeah, you. 466 00:21:17,803 --> 00:21:20,137 I'm talking to you, Mufasa. 467 00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:21,970 Yo, kid! 468 00:21:27,304 --> 00:21:29,179 I'm that guy now, 469 00:21:29,179 --> 00:21:31,179 that pathetic old guy that no one guards 470 00:21:31,179 --> 00:21:33,137 because he can't make a basket. 471 00:21:33,137 --> 00:21:34,761 You're not old-old, honey, 472 00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,803 but every athlete slows down a bit. 473 00:21:36,803 --> 00:21:39,845 Maybe you just need to change up your game. 474 00:21:39,845 --> 00:21:40,970 Has Brady slowed down? 475 00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:43,511 No, he just won the Super Bowl last year. 476 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,470 Tiger Woods? No. 477 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,678 He won the Masters. 478 00:21:46,678 --> 00:21:48,595 Those guys are freaks of nature 479 00:21:48,595 --> 00:21:51,970 pampered and coddled by an army of trainers and nutritionists. 480 00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:53,928 Not to mention the performance-enhancing drugs. 481 00:21:53,928 --> 00:21:56,262 Brady doesn't use performance-enhancing drugs. 482 00:21:56,262 --> 00:21:58,095 Uh-huh, sure he doesn't. 483 00:21:58,095 --> 00:21:59,470 Look, you can't compare yourself 484 00:21:59,470 --> 00:22:01,179 to professional athletes, Kev. 485 00:22:01,179 --> 00:22:03,720 Hell, I ran a 5.2 40 in high school, 486 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,511 and now I can barely finish a 5K. 487 00:22:05,511 --> 00:22:06,678 Or touch your toes. 488 00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:08,345 You ran a 5K? 489 00:22:08,345 --> 00:22:09,678 Well, I didn't say I ran it. 490 00:22:09,678 --> 00:22:11,179 There was some walking involved. 491 00:22:11,179 --> 00:22:12,053 And an Uber. 492 00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:13,511 It's testosterone. 493 00:22:13,511 --> 00:22:15,678 Men lose one percent every year after the age of 30. 494 00:22:15,678 --> 00:22:17,262 Really, one percent? 495 00:22:17,262 --> 00:22:19,761 You never had any to begin with, so don't worry about it. 496 00:22:19,761 --> 00:22:22,179 It's not me. It's my shitty shoes. 497 00:22:22,179 --> 00:22:23,429 Your shoes? 498 00:22:23,429 --> 00:22:24,678 Yeah, all the players are wearing 499 00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:26,845 Kobes and Jordans and LeBrons. 500 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,304 This is what I need right here. 501 00:22:31,387 --> 00:22:33,053 $350? 502 00:22:33,053 --> 00:22:35,720 Impact cushioning and instant responsiveness 503 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:36,720 plus easy entry. 504 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,345 That a shoe or a fat hooker? 505 00:22:38,345 --> 00:22:40,137 Absolutely not. 506 00:22:40,137 --> 00:22:42,220 But, V, my old shoes are fucking up my shooting rhythm. 507 00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:45,012 It's not the shoes, honey. You're just getting old. 508 00:22:45,012 --> 00:22:46,595 You just said I wasn't getting old. 509 00:22:46,595 --> 00:22:49,012 For $350, you old as shit, 510 00:22:49,012 --> 00:22:51,511 Bernie Sanders old, Harry Belafonte old. 511 00:22:51,511 --> 00:22:52,678 Well, I'm still buying 'em. 512 00:22:52,678 --> 00:22:53,595 Not with our money, you're not. 513 00:22:53,595 --> 00:22:54,928 It's my money too. 514 00:22:54,928 --> 00:22:56,095 We're on a budget, Kev. 515 00:22:56,095 --> 00:22:57,553 What do you suggest we skip this month, 516 00:22:57,553 --> 00:22:58,553 food or electricity? 517 00:22:58,553 --> 00:23:00,012 All right, fine. 518 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:01,553 You don't want to help me reclaim my manhood, 519 00:23:01,553 --> 00:23:02,470 that's just fine. 520 00:23:02,470 --> 00:23:03,595 Then I'm gonna earn my own money, 521 00:23:03,595 --> 00:23:04,887 and I'm gonna buy these shoes. 522 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:12,429 - Stonewall Jackson Keogh. 523 00:23:21,511 --> 00:23:23,803 George S. Patton Lopez. 524 00:23:35,262 --> 00:23:39,262 Carl Francis Hashish Gallagher. 525 00:23:40,262 --> 00:23:42,095 Yo, Gallagher! 526 00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:51,803 You're a disgrace, Gallagher, 527 00:23:51,803 --> 00:23:53,220 a dark, putrid shit stain 528 00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:55,137 on the reputation of this institution. 529 00:23:55,137 --> 00:23:57,970 I never, ever want to see your face again, 530 00:23:57,970 --> 00:24:00,470 not on my campus, not in my town, 531 00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:02,678 my state, and not ever in my army. 532 00:24:02,678 --> 00:24:04,053 We clear, son? 533 00:24:04,053 --> 00:24:05,553 Crystal, sir. 534 00:24:05,553 --> 00:24:07,179 I've informed the Pentagon. 535 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:08,429 You're not going to be allowed 536 00:24:08,429 --> 00:24:10,470 the honor of dying for your country. 537 00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:11,803 Thank you, sir. 538 00:24:14,012 --> 00:24:16,137 ♪ plodding rock music ♪ 539 00:24:16,137 --> 00:24:19,137 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 540 00:24:26,470 --> 00:24:28,636 ♪ Don't leave us behind ♪ 541 00:24:33,095 --> 00:24:35,511 ♪ Don't lose your head ♪ 542 00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:41,095 This should really help with your arthritis pain, 543 00:24:41,095 --> 00:24:42,595 but beware of any dizziness. 544 00:24:42,595 --> 00:24:43,845 It's a common side effect of Oxycontin. 545 00:24:43,845 --> 00:24:48,595 Oh, I--I didn't know that. 546 00:24:48,595 --> 00:24:52,053 Well, uh, thank you so much, Bill. 547 00:24:52,053 --> 00:24:54,095 ♪ Don't look to the right of me ♪ 548 00:24:54,095 --> 00:24:56,636 ♪ Me, me, me ♪ 549 00:24:56,636 --> 00:25:00,053 ♪ Me, me, me ♪ 550 00:25:00,053 --> 00:25:03,845 ♪ This is why I can't stop ♪ 551 00:25:03,845 --> 00:25:06,678 ♪ It won't stop, it won't stop ♪ 552 00:25:06,678 --> 00:25:07,887 Oh! 553 00:25:07,887 --> 00:25:10,928 Goodness gracious, I'm so sorry. 554 00:25:10,928 --> 00:25:14,012 Oh, no, I'm sure it was my fault. 555 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:16,053 I am so clumsy these days. 556 00:25:16,053 --> 00:25:18,553 No, no, it's this walker. 557 00:25:18,553 --> 00:25:20,553 I just can't get used to using it. 558 00:25:20,553 --> 00:25:22,179 I broke my hip. 559 00:25:22,179 --> 00:25:23,678 - Your hip? - Yeah. 560 00:25:23,678 --> 00:25:26,803 Oh, that's what happened to my Danny. 561 00:25:26,803 --> 00:25:28,387 Oh, I'm so sorry. 562 00:25:28,387 --> 00:25:32,845 Old age isn't for the faint of heart, is it? 563 00:25:32,845 --> 00:25:34,553 When you're right, you're right. 564 00:25:34,553 --> 00:25:36,220 - Yeah. - You take care now. 565 00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:38,636 Oh, you too. Thanks. 566 00:25:44,137 --> 00:25:46,095 Uh, sir? 567 00:25:46,095 --> 00:25:48,595 Sir, uh, uh, you in the walker. 568 00:25:48,595 --> 00:25:49,887 Sir? 569 00:25:49,887 --> 00:25:52,720 I--I--I think you have my bag. 570 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,095 ♪ I can't stop ♪ 571 00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,678 Sir? 572 00:25:55,678 --> 00:25:57,595 He's stealing my drugs! 573 00:25:57,595 --> 00:25:59,845 Police! 574 00:25:59,845 --> 00:26:01,053 Police! 575 00:26:01,053 --> 00:26:02,220 Jesus. 576 00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:05,887 - What the fuck, asshole? - Shit, what the fuck? 577 00:26:07,387 --> 00:26:08,595 Mikey? 578 00:26:08,595 --> 00:26:10,761 Frank. 579 00:26:10,761 --> 00:26:13,220 Jesus, Mikey, what-- 580 00:26:15,262 --> 00:26:16,387 What happened? 581 00:26:16,387 --> 00:26:17,553 What happened to you? 582 00:26:17,553 --> 00:26:18,928 Busted femur. 583 00:26:18,928 --> 00:26:20,470 Bone poked out right through the skin. 584 00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:23,429 Two ER nurses threw up when they saw it. 585 00:26:23,429 --> 00:26:25,304 Oh, train. 586 00:26:25,304 --> 00:26:28,595 I passed out on the Garfield L platform, 587 00:26:28,595 --> 00:26:31,012 then I fell onto the tracks, 588 00:26:31,012 --> 00:26:33,304 and then the train just came and took 'em clean off. 589 00:26:33,304 --> 00:26:35,345 There he is. That's him. 590 00:26:35,345 --> 00:26:36,636 Uh, good seeing you, Mikey. 591 00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:38,137 I gotta go. 592 00:26:38,137 --> 00:26:39,845 - All right. - Go quick. 593 00:26:39,845 --> 00:26:41,470 No, look, he's running away. 594 00:26:41,470 --> 00:26:42,678 Go get him. 595 00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:44,636 Go on, get him. 596 00:26:46,429 --> 00:26:49,137 Outstanding! 597 00:26:49,137 --> 00:26:52,636 ♪ upbeat rock music ♪ 598 00:27:12,678 --> 00:27:14,595 They're so fucking disgusting. 599 00:27:14,595 --> 00:27:16,511 They never do their own dishes. 600 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:19,928 They leave soaking wet towels on the floor after they shower. 601 00:27:19,928 --> 00:27:21,678 There's dirty underwear everywhere. 602 00:27:21,678 --> 00:27:23,387 You'd think it would kill them 603 00:27:23,387 --> 00:27:24,678 to clean their pubes out of the tub 604 00:27:24,678 --> 00:27:27,928 or--or use the toilet brush after they take a shit. 605 00:27:27,928 --> 00:27:30,678 And then they get mad at me if I don't buy the groceries 606 00:27:30,678 --> 00:27:32,928 or make dinner or do their laundry. 607 00:27:32,928 --> 00:27:35,761 Mmm, you smell nice. 608 00:27:35,761 --> 00:27:37,012 You wearing that Lancôme again? 609 00:27:37,012 --> 00:27:38,345 Chanel. 610 00:27:38,345 --> 00:27:40,262 I got two spritzes left before I have to return it. 611 00:27:40,262 --> 00:27:41,053 Nice. 612 00:27:41,053 --> 00:27:42,678 Yeah, I like it, 613 00:27:42,678 --> 00:27:46,387 hints of jasmine and elderberry. 614 00:27:46,387 --> 00:27:49,345 They're like blind baby boy pigs. 615 00:27:49,345 --> 00:27:51,304 And why is it my job to take care of them? 616 00:27:51,304 --> 00:27:53,345 I mean, just because they're boys and I'm girl. 617 00:27:53,345 --> 00:27:55,928 You know, the Amazon women had the right idea: 618 00:27:55,928 --> 00:27:58,678 raise men in cages for reproduction, 619 00:27:58,678 --> 00:27:59,970 then sacrifice them to Aphrodite 620 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:02,012 on a big vulva-shaped altar. 621 00:28:04,137 --> 00:28:06,595 It is long past time women take over the world. 622 00:28:06,595 --> 00:28:08,720 Men have been screwing everything up 623 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,761 since Adam forced Eve to eat that damn apple. 624 00:28:11,761 --> 00:28:14,887 Uh, I think the serpent made Eve eat the apple. 625 00:28:14,887 --> 00:28:18,179 Yeah, well, what do you want to bet the serpent had a dick? 626 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,970 I'm so proud of you. 627 00:28:22,970 --> 00:28:24,179 Thanks. 628 00:28:24,179 --> 00:28:26,678 Oh, you made it. 629 00:28:29,761 --> 00:28:32,053 I didn't see your family. Are they here somewhere? 630 00:28:32,053 --> 00:28:33,595 I didn't tell them I was graduating. 631 00:28:33,595 --> 00:28:34,720 Why not? 632 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,553 I wasn't sure I was going to. 633 00:28:36,553 --> 00:28:38,511 Carl, Carl! 634 00:28:39,845 --> 00:28:44,761 Um, Mom, Dad, this is Corporal Carl Gallagher, 635 00:28:44,761 --> 00:28:46,761 the only man who had the courage 636 00:28:46,761 --> 00:28:48,387 to stand up for me when I was assaulted. 637 00:28:48,387 --> 00:28:50,678 Oh! 638 00:28:50,678 --> 00:28:52,887 Mwah. Bless you, Corporal. 639 00:28:52,887 --> 00:28:55,636 Our Charlie couldn't have made it without you. 640 00:28:55,636 --> 00:28:58,012 Corporal Gallagher stood up to eight cadets 641 00:28:58,012 --> 00:28:59,304 when they jumped me in the showers, 642 00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:02,095 waded in to help me with only a bar of soap, 643 00:29:02,095 --> 00:29:04,928 a bottle of conditioner, and--and a flip-flop. 644 00:29:06,595 --> 00:29:09,012 I would never have been able to come out as trans 645 00:29:09,012 --> 00:29:13,053 and begin hormone reassignment therapy 646 00:29:13,053 --> 00:29:16,220 if he hadn't been willing to put his body on the line 647 00:29:16,220 --> 00:29:19,636 so that I may live my gender truth. 648 00:29:19,636 --> 00:29:22,262 I will never forget you. 649 00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:25,970 Thank you. 650 00:29:28,345 --> 00:29:30,137 Did he just say he wants to be a girl? 651 00:29:30,137 --> 00:29:32,262 I--I--I thought trans meant 652 00:29:32,262 --> 00:29:33,928 he was transferring in from another school. 653 00:29:33,928 --> 00:29:36,137 Did I just spend six fucking weeks in the brig 654 00:29:36,137 --> 00:29:38,887 because some dude wants to be a chick? 655 00:29:44,345 --> 00:29:45,970 So you used to work here. 656 00:29:45,970 --> 00:29:47,470 Yeah, a couple years ago. 657 00:29:47,470 --> 00:29:50,636 Customers loved it when I danced to "I Want Your Sex." 658 00:29:50,636 --> 00:29:52,761 - George Michael. - Yeah, and I do this fantastic 659 00:29:52,761 --> 00:29:54,304 little freeze thing with "Vogue," 660 00:29:54,304 --> 00:29:57,095 pop up here, Madonna. 661 00:29:58,387 --> 00:30:00,345 How old are you? 662 00:30:00,345 --> 00:30:01,553 30-- 663 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,970 Come back at 6 and we'll see how it goes. 664 00:30:06,970 --> 00:30:08,387 I'm short a dancer tonight 665 00:30:08,387 --> 00:30:10,179 because Donny's shingles flared up. 666 00:30:10,179 --> 00:30:11,845 Thank you so much, man. 667 00:30:11,845 --> 00:30:13,345 You will not be disappointed, I promise. 668 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,053 Margi, hey. 669 00:30:23,053 --> 00:30:24,220 What are we doing today? 670 00:30:24,220 --> 00:30:26,095 You wanna do, uh, more pink highlights, 671 00:30:26,095 --> 00:30:28,053 or are we taking you back to your natural brunette? 672 00:30:28,053 --> 00:30:31,511 Nordic white with honey streaks. 673 00:30:35,179 --> 00:30:36,470 I'll give it a shot. 674 00:30:38,761 --> 00:30:41,053 You know that mask's kind of freaky, right? 675 00:30:41,053 --> 00:30:42,220 Yeah, well, it's better than Junior 676 00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:45,137 being born with flippers and a tail. 677 00:30:47,887 --> 00:30:50,429 Jeff is definitely cheating on me. 678 00:30:50,429 --> 00:30:52,137 But I'm not gonna confront him. 679 00:30:52,137 --> 00:30:53,429 Think I'll just start sleeping around 680 00:30:53,429 --> 00:30:55,678 until I pick up a nasty STD, 681 00:30:55,678 --> 00:30:58,053 then give it to him so he can give it to her. 682 00:30:58,053 --> 00:31:01,137 Serve the skank right. 683 00:31:01,137 --> 00:31:04,012 You okay? 684 00:31:04,012 --> 00:31:05,387 Tami? 685 00:31:05,387 --> 00:31:07,220 Should we call your doctor? 686 00:31:10,887 --> 00:31:12,304 Ah, ah! 687 00:31:13,304 --> 00:31:14,678 Just breathe. 688 00:31:14,678 --> 00:31:15,970 Ah! 689 00:31:15,970 --> 00:31:18,678 Shit. 690 00:31:18,678 --> 00:31:20,470 Hey, can you get that for me? 691 00:31:22,887 --> 00:31:24,553 Lip's phone. 692 00:31:24,553 --> 00:31:25,970 It's Tami. 693 00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:27,429 Yeah, tell her I'll call her right back. 694 00:31:27,429 --> 00:31:29,053 Can he call you back? 695 00:31:30,761 --> 00:31:31,928 Uh, you're gonna wanna take this. 696 00:31:31,928 --> 00:31:34,636 Why? Why? Hey. 697 00:31:34,636 --> 00:31:35,845 Yeah, so I've been doing 698 00:31:35,845 --> 00:31:37,470 a little bit of this and that. 699 00:31:37,470 --> 00:31:39,928 I ran a pigeon drop scheme for a while. 700 00:31:39,928 --> 00:31:42,511 Ah, people still falling for that old chestnut? 701 00:31:42,511 --> 00:31:45,095 Yeah, a sucker born every minute. 702 00:31:45,095 --> 00:31:47,262 What about you? What you been up to? 703 00:31:47,262 --> 00:31:51,262 I've been stuck on the couch recovering for months, 704 00:31:51,262 --> 00:31:53,095 both physically, my femur, 705 00:31:53,095 --> 00:31:56,678 and from a broken heart. 706 00:31:56,678 --> 00:31:58,262 Unlucky in love? 707 00:31:58,262 --> 00:31:59,887 - Kids. - Oh. 708 00:31:59,887 --> 00:32:02,262 My firstborn ran off. 709 00:32:02,262 --> 00:32:04,595 And now my youngest daughter, 710 00:32:04,595 --> 00:32:07,304 the slutty one that had the baby in middle school, 711 00:32:07,304 --> 00:32:09,262 thinks she's in charge. 712 00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:12,595 She's got her grubby, slutty hands 713 00:32:12,595 --> 00:32:14,262 all over the family purse strings, 714 00:32:14,262 --> 00:32:15,720 won't even cough up a few bucks 715 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,262 for her old man to have a cold one 716 00:32:17,262 --> 00:32:18,553 after a long day of work. 717 00:32:18,553 --> 00:32:21,345 You know, we sacrifice so much for our kids, 718 00:32:21,345 --> 00:32:23,262 and first chance they get, wham, bam, 719 00:32:23,262 --> 00:32:25,304 not even "thank you, Dad," you know? 720 00:32:25,304 --> 00:32:27,179 I--I--nah. 721 00:32:27,179 --> 00:32:29,720 Oh, oh, oh. 722 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,470 What you doing? 723 00:32:42,262 --> 00:32:43,970 I thought we were going to your place. 724 00:32:43,970 --> 00:32:45,095 What are we doing here? 725 00:32:45,095 --> 00:32:47,387 Shopping for a little home furnishings. 726 00:32:47,387 --> 00:32:49,636 Do me a favor. 727 00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:52,970 Go hit that fire alarm down there, will ya? 728 00:32:52,970 --> 00:32:54,137 What's in it for me? 729 00:32:54,137 --> 00:32:55,636 What's in it for you? 730 00:32:55,636 --> 00:32:57,220 How about... 731 00:32:58,137 --> 00:33:01,179 ...a little Purdue party? 732 00:33:01,179 --> 00:33:02,429 Where's that alarm? 733 00:33:02,429 --> 00:33:03,345 By the elevator. 734 00:33:03,345 --> 00:33:04,345 Yeah. 735 00:33:04,345 --> 00:33:07,387 ♪ upbeat rock music ♪ 736 00:33:50,220 --> 00:33:53,678 Please exit the building calmly, everyone. 737 00:33:53,678 --> 00:33:55,511 No need for concern. 738 00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:58,387 Right this way, just out the front doors, please. 739 00:34:03,137 --> 00:34:05,137 Probably just a false alarm. 740 00:34:05,137 --> 00:34:06,387 Right out that door, sir. 741 00:34:37,803 --> 00:34:40,262 They can't stop you from enlisting if you want to. 742 00:34:40,262 --> 00:34:41,761 Fuck the military. 743 00:34:41,761 --> 00:34:43,220 The army would be lucky to have you. 744 00:34:43,220 --> 00:34:44,636 The army can kiss my ass. 745 00:34:44,636 --> 00:34:46,304 Then join the navy with me. 746 00:34:46,304 --> 00:34:48,470 Sail the seven seas. See the world. 747 00:34:48,470 --> 00:34:50,345 Wait, there's seven seas? 748 00:34:50,345 --> 00:34:53,928 You would look so good in white bell-bottoms, 749 00:34:53,928 --> 00:34:55,511 little sailor hat. 750 00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:57,095 Nobody looks good in bell-bottoms. 751 00:34:59,304 --> 00:35:02,887 I, uh, have some bad news. 752 00:35:02,887 --> 00:35:05,220 Herpes? 753 00:35:05,220 --> 00:35:06,928 The day after tomorrow, 754 00:35:06,928 --> 00:35:09,970 I have to report back to Annapolis for Plebe Summer. 755 00:35:09,970 --> 00:35:11,220 Hell's that for? 756 00:35:11,220 --> 00:35:13,137 Freshman officer training. 757 00:35:13,137 --> 00:35:14,928 For how long? 758 00:35:14,928 --> 00:35:16,636 Six weeks. 759 00:35:16,636 --> 00:35:20,095 So we don't have a lot of time to fit it all in. 760 00:35:20,095 --> 00:35:21,304 Fit what all in? 761 00:35:21,304 --> 00:35:22,803 A summer's worth of sex. 762 00:35:25,137 --> 00:35:26,262 48 condoms? 763 00:35:26,262 --> 00:35:27,803 In 32 hours. 764 00:35:27,803 --> 00:35:29,304 You up for the challenge, Gallagher? 765 00:35:29,304 --> 00:35:30,970 Uh, yeah. 766 00:35:30,970 --> 00:35:33,220 Then prove it, pussy. 767 00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:38,345 Yo, V, do we have any turmeric? 768 00:35:38,345 --> 00:35:39,595 No. 769 00:35:39,595 --> 00:35:41,304 What about spirulina? 770 00:35:41,304 --> 00:35:42,636 What the hell's spirulina? 771 00:35:42,636 --> 00:35:43,845 I have no idea, 772 00:35:43,845 --> 00:35:46,345 but it's supposed to boost my testosterone. 773 00:35:49,304 --> 00:35:50,678 How much of that are you supposed to use? 774 00:35:50,678 --> 00:35:52,678 One scoop, but I'm a pretty big guy. 775 00:35:59,470 --> 00:36:00,678 Jesus, Kev. 776 00:36:19,345 --> 00:36:20,845 Holy shit. 777 00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,845 Liam, your lip. What the hell happened? 778 00:36:36,845 --> 00:36:39,887 A lack of appreciation of our shared heritage 779 00:36:39,887 --> 00:36:42,720 from some of our less woke black brothers. 780 00:36:47,387 --> 00:36:48,387 What's he drinking? 781 00:36:48,387 --> 00:36:49,803 Testosterone smoothie. 782 00:36:49,803 --> 00:36:52,220 It's supposed to help him get his manly mojo back. 783 00:36:52,220 --> 00:36:53,262 Can I have some? 784 00:36:53,262 --> 00:36:55,012 - No. - Just a little bit? 785 00:37:05,595 --> 00:37:09,220 You sure I can't get just a little bit of that? 786 00:37:09,220 --> 00:37:11,387 Think it's real this time? 787 00:37:11,387 --> 00:37:13,220 I'm not sure. 788 00:37:13,220 --> 00:37:14,970 Did your water break? 789 00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:17,220 No, but-- 790 00:37:17,220 --> 00:37:18,887 Those are getting pretty close together. 791 00:37:18,887 --> 00:37:22,595 Just shut the fuck up and find a goddamn parking spot! 792 00:37:22,595 --> 00:37:24,095 She's back. 793 00:37:24,095 --> 00:37:25,095 All right. 794 00:37:27,429 --> 00:37:28,761 Oh. 795 00:37:32,387 --> 00:37:33,429 Hey, all right. 796 00:37:33,429 --> 00:37:34,595 Can you walk? Can you walk? 797 00:37:34,595 --> 00:37:35,720 - Yeah. - Yeah? 798 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:37,179 Jesus, of course I can walk. 799 00:37:37,179 --> 00:37:38,345 Can you? 800 00:37:38,345 --> 00:37:39,511 - Yea--ah! - Honey, hey, hey. 801 00:37:39,511 --> 00:37:40,511 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 802 00:37:40,511 --> 00:37:41,429 Should you be squatting? 803 00:37:41,429 --> 00:37:42,595 Yeah, did you call my sister? 804 00:37:42,595 --> 00:37:43,761 No, Cami, no. No, no, no. 805 00:37:43,761 --> 00:37:44,761 Excuse me! 806 00:37:44,761 --> 00:37:45,845 I told you, I don't want you in there 807 00:37:45,845 --> 00:37:47,928 staring down my cooch 808 00:37:47,928 --> 00:37:51,970 with a baby head popping out while I shit in a hospital bed. 809 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:53,262 All right, I'm gonna find you a wheelchair 810 00:37:53,262 --> 00:37:55,220 so you don't have the baby in the parking lot, all right? 811 00:38:01,595 --> 00:38:03,970 Ah, oh! 812 00:38:07,345 --> 00:38:09,803 Oh, yeah! 813 00:38:09,803 --> 00:38:11,803 Oh! Oh! Oh! 814 00:38:11,803 --> 00:38:13,720 Let's go. 815 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:16,636 Oh! Whoo! 816 00:38:16,636 --> 00:38:19,304 Whew. 817 00:38:24,179 --> 00:38:26,012 ♪ Oh, yeah, let me tell ya ♪ 818 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,678 ♪ upbeat hip-hop music ♪ 819 00:38:27,678 --> 00:38:30,220 ♪ I've been livin' good ♪ 820 00:38:30,220 --> 00:38:33,887 ♪ I'm not gonna hold it back ♪ 821 00:38:33,887 --> 00:38:35,262 ♪ I'm gonna show ya ♪ 822 00:38:35,262 --> 00:38:37,678 Who you texting? 823 00:38:37,678 --> 00:38:39,012 Debbie, 824 00:38:39,012 --> 00:38:43,678 let her know we'll be home in a couple of hours. 825 00:38:43,678 --> 00:38:45,179 How many condoms we have left? 826 00:38:46,053 --> 00:38:46,970 Hmm. 827 00:38:46,970 --> 00:38:49,928 ♪ Livin' real, real good ♪ 828 00:38:53,012 --> 00:38:54,345 41. 829 00:38:54,345 --> 00:38:57,179 We're only averaging one an hour? 830 00:38:57,179 --> 00:38:59,678 I think we're gonna have to cut back on your recovery time. 831 00:38:59,678 --> 00:39:00,761 I think we may need to stop 832 00:39:00,761 --> 00:39:03,845 for a case of Red Bulls and some Tiger Balm. 833 00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:06,803 Mm, I have faith in you, Gallagher. 834 00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:08,761 ♪ Ooh ♪ 835 00:39:08,761 --> 00:39:10,387 Mm. 836 00:39:15,678 --> 00:39:17,511 ♪ Real, real good ♪ 837 00:39:17,511 --> 00:39:19,012 ♪ Ooh ♪ 838 00:39:19,012 --> 00:39:20,012 Battery. 839 00:39:21,470 --> 00:39:22,511 ♪ Let me show ya ♪ 840 00:39:22,511 --> 00:39:24,304 ♪ Ooh ♪ 841 00:39:24,304 --> 00:39:26,553 - Who's that? - Kelly. 842 00:39:26,553 --> 00:39:28,220 Her and Carl are almost home. 843 00:39:28,220 --> 00:39:30,012 I thought your brother was in the army or something. 844 00:39:30,012 --> 00:39:32,345 Military school. 845 00:39:32,345 --> 00:39:34,137 You excited to see him? 846 00:39:34,137 --> 00:39:35,429 Yeah. 847 00:39:35,429 --> 00:39:38,012 Weird, I--I guess I kinda miss the little dickhead. 848 00:39:38,012 --> 00:39:39,678 ♪ Ooh ♪ 849 00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:40,720 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 850 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,928 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 851 00:39:42,928 --> 00:39:44,429 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 852 00:39:44,429 --> 00:39:46,137 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 853 00:39:46,137 --> 00:39:48,179 ♪ Real, real good ♪ 854 00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:50,678 Yeah, excuse me, um, uh, I don't really know 855 00:39:50,678 --> 00:39:52,595 all the answers to these questions. 856 00:39:52,595 --> 00:39:53,636 Don't you have it on file somewhere? 857 00:39:53,636 --> 00:39:55,137 Are you with Miss Tamietti? 858 00:39:55,137 --> 00:39:57,511 - Yeah, yeah. - Get your ass in here. 859 00:39:57,511 --> 00:39:58,761 Whoa, whoa, um... 860 00:39:58,761 --> 00:40:00,928 What, uh-- wha--what's going on? 861 00:40:02,262 --> 00:40:04,511 Hey, is there something wrong or, um-- 862 00:40:04,511 --> 00:40:05,928 Put those on. 863 00:40:13,262 --> 00:40:14,553 Sign this. 864 00:40:14,553 --> 00:40:15,720 Wait, what is-- what is this? 865 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:16,553 Surgical consent. 866 00:40:16,553 --> 00:40:17,970 Fetal distress. 867 00:40:17,970 --> 00:40:19,887 We're performing an emergency C-section. 868 00:40:19,887 --> 00:40:21,262 We have to get this baby out now. 869 00:40:21,262 --> 00:40:22,761 No, no, no, no. I'm not having a Cesarean. 870 00:40:22,761 --> 00:40:24,012 I'm having my baby naturally. 871 00:40:24,012 --> 00:40:25,511 That's not going to happen, Tami. 872 00:40:25,511 --> 00:40:27,553 - Sign it. - I--I--I'm not really her-- 873 00:40:27,553 --> 00:40:28,595 Are you the father? 874 00:40:28,595 --> 00:40:29,928 - Yeah, yes. - Then sign it. 875 00:40:31,636 --> 00:40:33,429 Asphyxia. 876 00:40:33,429 --> 00:40:36,053 - Uh... - Hold her hand. 877 00:40:37,803 --> 00:40:39,137 It's coming now. It's all right. 878 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,262 Hey, you the guy taking Donny's place? 879 00:40:48,262 --> 00:40:49,636 Yeah, I guess so. 880 00:40:49,636 --> 00:40:52,803 Well, that's Donny's spot right there. 881 00:40:52,803 --> 00:40:54,761 Hey, uh, do me a favor, would ya? 882 00:40:56,012 --> 00:40:57,845 Rip my ass wax. 883 00:40:57,845 --> 00:40:59,970 I can't reach back there with my arthritis. 884 00:41:01,012 --> 00:41:02,803 You guys are dancers? 885 00:41:02,803 --> 00:41:04,387 Well, yeah. 886 00:41:04,387 --> 00:41:06,970 I've been dancing on Daddy Night for ten years. 887 00:41:08,304 --> 00:41:09,470 Great tips. 888 00:41:09,470 --> 00:41:11,137 Hey. 889 00:41:11,137 --> 00:41:12,720 You can borrow my Tom Selleck, if you want. 890 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,137 Millennials love it. 891 00:41:15,678 --> 00:41:18,429 Okay, go ahead, yank it. 892 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:22,720 Don't be shy. 893 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:23,887 Oh! 894 00:41:26,304 --> 00:41:29,429 Oh, thanks. 895 00:41:29,429 --> 00:41:32,012 Ah. 896 00:41:37,761 --> 00:41:39,137 Oh, Carl! 897 00:41:43,678 --> 00:41:45,470 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 898 00:41:45,470 --> 00:41:46,678 What? 899 00:41:46,678 --> 00:41:47,970 I--I think the condom broke. 900 00:41:49,887 --> 00:41:51,137 - Are you sure? - Yeah, hold on. 901 00:41:51,137 --> 00:41:52,179 I'm--I--I'll check. 902 00:41:52,179 --> 00:41:54,137 No, no, I'll do it. 903 00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:55,803 Drive, get out. 904 00:41:55,803 --> 00:41:57,429 I'm ovulating. Get out! 905 00:41:57,429 --> 00:42:00,220 Drive! Drive! 906 00:42:04,053 --> 00:42:06,220 Okay, okay, okay. 907 00:42:06,220 --> 00:42:08,053 - Aren't you gonna sit? - Hell no. 908 00:42:08,053 --> 00:42:09,970 Gotta keep your nasty little swimmers downstream. 909 00:42:09,970 --> 00:42:11,345 - Go! - Where? 910 00:42:11,345 --> 00:42:13,220 Find a drugstore, and fast. 911 00:42:14,304 --> 00:42:15,761 ♪ Nuh shot nuh haffi fiyah ♪ 912 00:42:15,761 --> 00:42:17,429 ♪ Every posse get flat ♪ 913 00:42:17,429 --> 00:42:18,803 ♪ Nuh shot nuh haffi fiyah ♪ 914 00:42:18,803 --> 00:42:20,720 ♪ Hey, get up on it, get, get ♪ 915 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:24,470 27 for me. 916 00:42:26,678 --> 00:42:27,678 One for you. 917 00:42:27,678 --> 00:42:28,761 Hey. 918 00:42:28,761 --> 00:42:32,053 And two for us to snort now. 919 00:42:33,887 --> 00:42:35,761 You're a true friend, Frankie. 920 00:42:35,761 --> 00:42:37,720 Don't I know it, Mikey. 921 00:42:41,553 --> 00:42:43,928 All hail mighty Oxy, 922 00:42:43,928 --> 00:42:47,095 the Dom Pérignon of opiates. 923 00:42:47,095 --> 00:42:50,053 Thank you, Mr. Sackler. 924 00:42:50,053 --> 00:42:53,179 You know, he'll never get the Nobel Prize... 925 00:42:55,429 --> 00:42:56,429 But he should. 926 00:42:56,429 --> 00:42:59,928 Yeah, Sackler should have his face carved 927 00:42:59,928 --> 00:43:02,429 on the Mount Rushmore of drugs. 928 00:43:05,304 --> 00:43:07,429 Who else should be on that mountain? 929 00:43:07,429 --> 00:43:09,262 Um... 930 00:43:09,262 --> 00:43:10,970 Bob Marley. 931 00:43:10,970 --> 00:43:13,636 Absolutely. 932 00:43:13,636 --> 00:43:15,387 - Willie Nelson. - Gotta have Willie. 933 00:43:15,387 --> 00:43:17,053 - Willie. - Keith Richards. 934 00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:19,470 Keith, yes, Keith. 935 00:43:19,470 --> 00:43:20,553 Of course. 936 00:43:20,553 --> 00:43:22,137 Jimi. 937 00:43:23,262 --> 00:43:26,761 OD'd, maybe not the best example. 938 00:43:28,928 --> 00:43:31,053 Nirvana. 939 00:43:31,053 --> 00:43:33,053 Well, I loved their first album. 940 00:43:33,053 --> 00:43:36,137 No, man, I'm talking about this moment: 941 00:43:36,137 --> 00:43:39,137 peace, heaven, enlightenment. 942 00:43:40,803 --> 00:43:42,137 Shit, you really are high. 943 00:43:42,137 --> 00:43:44,304 Hmm. 944 00:43:45,429 --> 00:43:48,137 The four noble truths. 945 00:43:48,137 --> 00:43:49,803 You lost me there, little--little friend. 946 00:43:49,803 --> 00:43:52,636 Yeah, dukkha, 947 00:43:52,636 --> 00:43:54,179 truth of suffering. 948 00:43:54,179 --> 00:43:55,553 Not big on suffering. 949 00:43:55,553 --> 00:43:58,470 Yeah, life is suffering. 950 00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:01,803 We're born just to die. 951 00:44:01,803 --> 00:44:03,345 Buddha. 952 00:44:03,345 --> 00:44:05,262 You're kinda bumming me out. 953 00:44:06,345 --> 00:44:09,845 Life's finite, Frank. 954 00:44:11,012 --> 00:44:12,845 No one lives forever. 955 00:44:14,678 --> 00:44:17,720 We're just dust waiting to return 956 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,053 to our mother... 957 00:44:20,053 --> 00:44:22,095 The Earth. 958 00:44:24,220 --> 00:44:26,720 Oh, nice cushions, by the way. 959 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:28,678 - Yeah. - Yeah. 960 00:44:28,678 --> 00:44:29,761 Did all right. 961 00:44:29,761 --> 00:44:31,137 Yeah, we did. 962 00:44:31,137 --> 00:44:32,845 We did good. 963 00:44:36,012 --> 00:44:37,470 - Transfers. - I want sushi. 964 00:44:37,470 --> 00:44:38,678 Yeah? 965 00:44:38,678 --> 00:44:40,345 Disneyland. 966 00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,678 Anywhere. 967 00:44:49,012 --> 00:44:49,803 It's a boy. 968 00:44:49,803 --> 00:44:51,761 Did you know? 969 00:44:51,761 --> 00:44:53,304 No--no, no. 970 00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,720 Check Apgar. 971 00:45:12,053 --> 00:45:13,761 Apgar is seven. 972 00:45:13,761 --> 00:45:15,761 Seven, that's good, right? 973 00:45:15,761 --> 00:45:19,053 - That's good. - That's good. 974 00:45:19,053 --> 00:45:21,179 Hey, hey, it's a boy. 975 00:45:21,179 --> 00:45:22,761 It's a boy. 976 00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:23,928 Yeah? 977 00:45:23,928 --> 00:45:25,595 Yeah, Tami, Tami, you won't believe it. 978 00:45:25,595 --> 00:45:27,720 He's so beautiful. 979 00:45:33,053 --> 00:45:34,553 What are you doing? 980 00:45:34,553 --> 00:45:35,636 My friend Janis 981 00:45:35,636 --> 00:45:38,095 said this is what you do when a condom breaks. 982 00:45:38,095 --> 00:45:41,220 Plan B, aisle two. Monistat, aisle three. 983 00:46:06,179 --> 00:46:08,179 Will there be anything else? 984 00:46:08,179 --> 00:46:12,304 Nope, just the sperm killer and the pineapple Fanta, thanks. 985 00:46:12,304 --> 00:46:15,137 Unless you have any samples of Viagra. 986 00:46:17,761 --> 00:46:20,262 Five-minute Apgar is nine. 987 00:46:20,262 --> 00:46:22,595 - Good work, Dad. - Thanks. 988 00:46:22,595 --> 00:46:24,470 Lip? 989 00:46:24,470 --> 00:46:26,053 Hey, hey. 990 00:46:26,053 --> 00:46:28,678 He's doing great. 991 00:46:28,678 --> 00:46:29,678 Lip? 992 00:46:29,678 --> 00:46:31,095 Tami? 993 00:46:32,636 --> 00:46:34,387 Everything okay? 994 00:46:34,387 --> 00:46:36,511 Weight 3.3 kilos. 995 00:46:37,304 --> 00:46:38,720 What--what's happening to her? 996 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:39,636 What's going on? 997 00:46:39,636 --> 00:46:40,803 Her BP is dropping. 998 00:46:40,803 --> 00:46:42,095 - She's hemorrhaging. - Tami. 999 00:46:42,095 --> 00:46:43,220 Call surgery, tell them we're coming up. 1000 00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:44,387 Tami? 1001 00:46:44,387 --> 00:46:45,304 Tami! 1002 00:46:45,304 --> 00:46:47,678 Sir, please step back. 1003 00:46:47,678 --> 00:46:49,845 I'll go directly to the lab to drop off the sample. 1004 00:46:49,845 --> 00:46:52,179 Let's go. 1005 00:46:52,179 --> 00:46:54,179 Make sure surgery has O-neg on hand. 1006 00:46:54,179 --> 00:46:55,179 I'll let them know. 1007 00:46:55,179 --> 00:46:57,012 Hey, do I go with her or... 1008 00:46:57,012 --> 00:47:00,137 No, no, you should stay here with your son. 1009 00:47:00,137 --> 00:47:03,553 ♪ hard rock music ♪ 1010 00:47:03,553 --> 00:47:05,511 ♪ Well, we got no choice ♪ 1011 00:47:07,387 --> 00:47:10,470 ♪ All the girls and boys ♪ 1012 00:47:10,470 --> 00:47:13,053 ♪ Makin' all that noise ♪ 1013 00:47:13,053 --> 00:47:14,304 Whoo-hoo!! 1014 00:47:14,304 --> 00:47:17,553 ♪ 'Cause they found new toys ♪ 1015 00:47:17,553 --> 00:47:20,678 ♪ Well, we can't salute ya ♪ 1016 00:47:20,678 --> 00:47:22,220 Hey, Daddy. 1017 00:47:22,220 --> 00:47:24,220 Uh, do you wanna spank me? 1018 00:47:24,220 --> 00:47:26,595 I've been a really bad boy. 1019 00:47:26,595 --> 00:47:29,387 Okay, thank you, sexy Uncle Sam. 1020 00:47:29,387 --> 00:47:31,761 Our next is new. 1021 00:47:31,761 --> 00:47:33,928 He's hot. He's ripped. 1022 00:47:33,928 --> 00:47:36,803 He's the daddy you wish you had growing up. 1023 00:47:36,803 --> 00:47:41,387 Get your milk ready because here comes Captain Crunch! 1024 00:47:48,179 --> 00:47:51,845 ♪ All my friends know the lowrider ♪ 1025 00:47:54,970 --> 00:47:58,887 ♪ The lowrider is a little higher ♪ 1026 00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:09,887 Love it! 1027 00:48:14,595 --> 00:48:16,511 Oh! 1028 00:48:21,429 --> 00:48:26,095 ♪ Lowrider drives a little slower ♪ 1029 00:48:29,887 --> 00:48:31,053 The hell, Frank? 1030 00:48:31,053 --> 00:48:32,262 I already got a new couch. 1031 00:48:32,262 --> 00:48:34,095 It's getting delivered next week. 1032 00:48:35,429 --> 00:48:37,387 You cannot leave your drug paraphernalia 1033 00:48:37,387 --> 00:48:39,595 laying around for Franny to find. 1034 00:48:41,511 --> 00:48:43,720 Is that my apron? 1035 00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:44,887 Mikey doesn't like 1036 00:48:44,887 --> 00:48:48,262 to get kitchen smells on his clothes. 1037 00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:50,387 What are you doing on the floor? 1038 00:48:50,387 --> 00:48:53,053 Legs don't seem to wanna work. 1039 00:48:57,387 --> 00:48:58,887 Whoa, there's something 1040 00:48:58,887 --> 00:49:00,137 you don't see every day. 1041 00:49:00,137 --> 00:49:03,137 Hey, how you doin'? 1042 00:49:03,137 --> 00:49:04,636 Who is this, Frank? 1043 00:49:04,636 --> 00:49:07,095 Mikey O'Shea, follower of Buddha, 1044 00:49:07,095 --> 00:49:08,761 seeker of the five truths. 1045 00:49:08,761 --> 00:49:10,137 Four. 1046 00:49:10,137 --> 00:49:13,470 Lover of dukkha and my best friend. 1047 00:49:13,470 --> 00:49:14,970 Am I still taking Franny tonight? 1048 00:49:14,970 --> 00:49:16,095 Please. 1049 00:49:16,095 --> 00:49:17,761 I've got a deep-sea welding class. 1050 00:49:17,761 --> 00:49:18,803 That's a thing? 1051 00:49:18,803 --> 00:49:20,470 Yeah, shipyards and oil platforms 1052 00:49:20,470 --> 00:49:22,970 pay big dough for underwater welders. 1053 00:49:22,970 --> 00:49:24,137 Come on, beautiful girl. 1054 00:49:24,137 --> 00:49:25,137 Let's get you and the twins some dinner. 1055 00:49:25,137 --> 00:49:27,470 Love you too, pumpkin. 1056 00:49:27,470 --> 00:49:29,470 Joining us for dinner tonight, Kwame? 1057 00:49:29,470 --> 00:49:30,761 Chitlins involved? 1058 00:49:30,761 --> 00:49:32,179 Cheese pizza okay? 1059 00:49:32,179 --> 00:49:34,137 Harriet Tubman liked pizza? 1060 00:49:34,137 --> 00:49:35,845 That's the rumor. 1061 00:49:37,636 --> 00:49:40,012 Nice dashiki. 1062 00:49:40,012 --> 00:49:42,345 ♪ Where did you come from? ♪ 1063 00:49:42,345 --> 00:49:44,511 ♪ It's not fair ♪ 1064 00:49:44,511 --> 00:49:47,511 ♪ sultry music ♪ 1065 00:49:47,511 --> 00:49:49,511 ♪ Trying, tryna keep my cool ♪ 1066 00:49:49,511 --> 00:49:51,636 ♪ Trying not to act a fool ♪ 1067 00:49:51,636 --> 00:49:54,803 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1068 00:49:54,803 --> 00:49:56,845 ♪ I got my eyes on you ♪ 1069 00:49:56,845 --> 00:49:58,887 ♪ Go ahead and make your move ♪ 1070 00:49:58,887 --> 00:50:02,179 ♪ My eyes on you ♪ 1071 00:50:02,179 --> 00:50:04,012 ♪ My eyes on you ♪ 1072 00:50:05,678 --> 00:50:07,595 Hey, everybody, it's a boy. 1073 00:50:07,595 --> 00:50:11,053 Oh my! 1074 00:50:11,053 --> 00:50:12,470 And Tami? 1075 00:50:12,470 --> 00:50:17,220 Um, yeah, she, uh--she needed an emergency C-section. 1076 00:50:17,220 --> 00:50:20,387 Um, there were some complications, bleeding. 1077 00:50:20,387 --> 00:50:22,845 She's--she's still in the OR. 1078 00:50:22,845 --> 00:50:23,887 Shit. 1079 00:50:23,887 --> 00:50:25,387 But she's gonna be okay, right? 1080 00:50:25,387 --> 00:50:27,970 I don't--I don't know. I don't know. 1081 00:50:27,970 --> 00:50:29,387 I mean, they wouldn't tell me anything else. 1082 00:50:29,387 --> 00:50:30,928 Well, go find the fuck out. 1083 00:50:30,928 --> 00:50:33,304 Okay, okay, she's in surgery, Cami. 1084 00:50:33,304 --> 00:50:34,553 They'll let us know how she is 1085 00:50:34,553 --> 00:50:36,553 as soon as they have something to tell us. 1086 00:50:37,845 --> 00:50:39,137 Mr. Tamietti? 1087 00:50:39,137 --> 00:50:40,887 Yes. 1088 00:50:40,887 --> 00:50:42,887 Oh, sorry, you know, I think, uh, she actually means me. 1089 00:50:42,887 --> 00:50:45,970 Uh, I'll come back as soon as I know anything, all right? 1090 00:51:04,179 --> 00:51:06,595 You up for going one more time before we head in? 1091 00:51:06,595 --> 00:51:08,595 I could really use a bed. 1092 00:51:08,595 --> 00:51:10,304 I kind of threw my back out. 1093 00:51:10,304 --> 00:51:11,636 That, and I need to ice my balls. 1094 00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,928 Maybe we could do it in the shower and then 1095 00:51:13,928 --> 00:51:15,928 maybe up on the roof. 1096 00:51:15,928 --> 00:51:16,928 Debbie? 1097 00:51:16,928 --> 00:51:19,053 No, Lip. Tami had the baby. 1098 00:51:19,053 --> 00:51:20,761 That's great. 1099 00:51:20,761 --> 00:51:22,262 Yeah, but she's in trouble. 1100 00:51:22,262 --> 00:51:23,262 What? 1101 00:51:23,262 --> 00:51:25,345 Something went wrong. 1102 00:51:32,928 --> 00:51:34,761 Yeah, baby. 1103 00:51:34,761 --> 00:51:37,887 Hey, looks like the boys love the new daddy, huh? 1104 00:51:40,970 --> 00:51:43,095 Did somebody punch your tit? 1105 00:51:43,095 --> 00:51:44,928 No, hickeys. 1106 00:51:44,928 --> 00:51:46,470 One of the software engineers from Google 1107 00:51:46,470 --> 00:51:48,137 likes to pretend he's nursing. 1108 00:51:48,137 --> 00:51:49,304 Yeah, well, you're lucky. 1109 00:51:49,304 --> 00:51:51,179 I had a guy who wanted me to change his diaper. 1110 00:51:51,179 --> 00:51:54,304 Oh. 1111 00:52:14,012 --> 00:52:15,137 Good evening, Mauve. 1112 00:52:15,137 --> 00:52:16,137 Oh, welcome back. 1113 00:52:16,137 --> 00:52:17,636 Your usual? 1114 00:52:17,636 --> 00:52:18,887 Please. 1115 00:52:28,803 --> 00:52:30,387 You look fantastic. 1116 00:52:30,387 --> 00:52:31,511 Thank you. 1117 00:52:31,511 --> 00:52:32,845 I love your dress. 1118 00:52:32,845 --> 00:52:34,845 Herve Leger. 1119 00:52:34,845 --> 00:52:36,304 Wonderful. 1120 00:52:38,761 --> 00:52:40,678 Thank you. 1121 00:52:49,387 --> 00:52:52,845 Fold the bottom of the blanket over baby's feet. 1122 00:52:52,845 --> 00:52:57,137 Then just tuck the point into the top, okay? 1123 00:52:57,137 --> 00:52:59,137 ♪ tender music ♪ 1124 00:52:59,137 --> 00:52:59,928 Yeah, yeah. 1125 00:52:59,928 --> 00:53:02,012 Sit. 1126 00:53:03,345 --> 00:53:05,845 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 1127 00:53:05,845 --> 00:53:07,720 Set him like this. 1128 00:53:08,761 --> 00:53:10,678 ♪ You've been running ♪ 1129 00:53:10,678 --> 00:53:12,137 Hey. 1130 00:53:12,137 --> 00:53:14,636 ♪ Through my mind ♪ 1131 00:53:14,636 --> 00:53:16,179 Hey. 1132 00:53:16,179 --> 00:53:18,095 ♪ And you're taking ♪ 1133 00:53:18,095 --> 00:53:19,304 Shh. 1134 00:53:19,304 --> 00:53:23,928 ♪ Your sweet time ♪ 1135 00:53:23,928 --> 00:53:28,053 ♪ 'Cause you don't know what you're looking for ♪ 1136 00:53:28,053 --> 00:53:29,553 Shh, shh, shh. 1137 00:53:29,553 --> 00:53:30,595 Oh, my gosh. 1138 00:53:30,595 --> 00:53:32,053 Shh, shh, shh. 1139 00:53:32,053 --> 00:53:36,262 ♪ So you just stop on by from time to time ♪ 1140 00:53:39,053 --> 00:53:40,553 Boy or girl? 1141 00:53:40,553 --> 00:53:42,595 Boy. 1142 00:53:45,179 --> 00:53:48,053 ♪ I don't know why ♪ 1143 00:53:48,053 --> 00:53:49,470 Are you sure it's yours? 1144 00:53:51,970 --> 00:53:53,511 Tami? 1145 00:53:53,511 --> 00:53:55,262 I don't know. 1146 00:53:55,262 --> 00:53:56,553 Still in surgery. 1147 00:53:56,553 --> 00:53:59,970 ♪ From time to time ♪ 1148 00:53:59,970 --> 00:54:02,429 ♪ Honey, I ♪ 1149 00:54:02,429 --> 00:54:05,429 ♪ I ain't complaining ♪ 1150 00:54:05,429 --> 00:54:07,012 It'll be okay. 1151 00:54:07,012 --> 00:54:09,720 ♪ 'Cause sometimes ♪ 1152 00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:12,262 ♪ I enjoy your game ♪ 1153 00:54:20,137 --> 00:54:21,761 That's your uncle. 1154 00:54:21,761 --> 00:54:25,887 ♪ So won't you stop on by from time to time? ♪ 1155 00:54:25,887 --> 00:54:27,095 It's a boy. 1156 00:54:27,095 --> 00:54:28,803 No, Ian doesn't know yet. 1157 00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:33,345 ♪ You said come by ♪ 1158 00:54:36,137 --> 00:54:40,970 ♪ I don't know why ♪ 1159 00:54:43,636 --> 00:54:48,636 ♪ But I'll be all right ♪ 1160 00:54:48,636 --> 00:54:51,470 ♪ energetic rock music ♪ 1161 00:54:53,429 --> 00:54:55,179 - Oh! - Buddy! 1162 00:54:57,345 --> 00:54:59,137 Hey, guys, I'm open. I'm open. 1163 00:54:59,137 --> 00:55:01,304 Hey, the ball, ball, ball, ball, ball! 1164 00:55:01,304 --> 00:55:03,511 - Come on, man! - No, no, no, no! 1165 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:08,220 Oh! 1166 00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:16,429 Back to the retirement home!